Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Fulltank ♥ :)':

Its 3 in the morning. I can't sleep.
God. Why am I still thinking of you?
Facing the nights without you are torturing and disturbing me.
Why do I still have the feeling that I need you even you don't belong to me anymore?
Still waiting for your ringtone blowing up my cellphone?
Why can't I forget you? Your voice? Your cute laughter? Your joy smile? Your smell?
Why am I suffering to let you go?
It feels like yesterday you were a part of me.
My another half.
Why am I still thinking of the times I've had with you when our favourite songs played on air?
Especially ; Ne-yo's concert. I could still remember how excited we were about our plan to go there.
Shit. I hate this kind of feeling.
For those 19 months we had been through thick and thin together, I've always tried to find ways to fix our damages.
Make you happy when you're down. ++++ more.

But then, silently you played me. You betrayed me.
Your love was nothing but a game.
When we had our fights, I was the one that always lose.
Why? Cause I love you like hell and so fucking much, stupid. You complete me.
I did not want to lose you.
Great, love is blind.

Honestly I don't despise you but myself. For acting so dumb.
Until I almost lost one of my best friends just because of the crazy love I had towards you.
She'd tried to help me. She gave me the sign.
Too bad I was on your side.
But in the end, she was there, still putting faith on me to save my life and sadly you were the murderer.
On the other hand, I thank to God for this to happen now.
May be its good for us to walk on the different path.
And girl? Thanks for still being my best friend :')

Last week, I said I wanna meet you. Wanted you to see my current condition.
You told me there's no need for us to meet up.
I was sad cause hoping to see you for may be the last time.
Saying our goodbyes, or at least my last hug to you :'(
Reminisce back when you came to me that night two years ago, I knew I shouldn't give you the second chance *sigh
But slowly, I took your words and walked away.
No looking back and I must don't feel regret about it.

Whatever it is, thanks for your love, your times when I need you the most.
Your sweet words that easily melt my heart, your random jokes.
You've never fail to make me happy and laugh.
You were the reason I smile everyday, bby.
Hahh. Should I say more?
But just to let you know, you were the best and you rocked my world okay?
That would be the first and last time I'm gonna say about you.

I used to say that you would be the last guy I wanted to be with.
But nothing last forever and I really, really need to bare that in my head.
Sorry for the harsh words I wrote up there & said before this.
Sorry if I were never there for you.
Sorry if I ever broke your heart. I'm just a simple ordinary girl and not perfect as well.
But you were everything good in my life and simply know to make it perfect.

Now, I need to move on.
Carry on my life with the ones that I must trust ; myself, family and best friends.
It is time to delete you. Erase you from my heart.
But I won't forget the sweet memories that we've created.
Burning up our pictures or throw up your shirts. No.
My high school moments with you were awesome and unforgettable.
So yea, thank you for that :D

I'd hope this would be the last post I'll be talking about you because I strongly need to find myself back and my power plus strength to start on a new chapter of my new life of new year ;)